Sunday, November 18, 2012

Zombie vs Wimpy Kid

After two months, 13 days, and 20 lbs. lighter, I finally got a job at a furniture store.  I was very excited that I would be working with people and selling furniture - which by now, if you have been reading, you should know how much I love furniture!  The idea that people would be coming to me for help to make their homes beautiful!  I love how furniture stores are laid out, with each alcove perfectly styled to give options on pillows, art, and lighting.  All the crystal chandeliers hang over rows and rows of dining room tables.  I love the smell of new leather couches and the feel of a silk velvet chair.  It makes you feel like you can be that creepy neighbor looking through windows to see the living room and it's OK!  The commandment "thou shall not covet" doesn't apply here, as long as you keep the commandment "thou shall not steal," which can be hard with a little pay check, and big ideas.

Oh, how I wished that was where I worked.  Truthfully, it was as far away from that as I could get, but by this point I didn't care - I needed a job.  Instead of crystal chandeliers hanging from above, we had exposed duct work.  The floor was not wood or carpet, but a lovely shade of gray concrete.  The building itself was a old warehouse.

I got a call a few days after Christmas (see the post Starving in the City) that I needed to show up at the store around 8:30am that following Monday.  Due to the fact that I didn't have a car, and the walk to work from my house was about 45 minutes, I took the bus.  While on the bus, I felt perhaps it was not the best time to have taken my Prada messenger bag with me.  I felt like I was being eyed by everyone on the bus.  You know that point in those zombie movies, where the character is surrounded by zombies and they're getting closer and closer to him, limping and drooling, about to bite him to make him part of there clan?  That's exactly what it felt like.

After about ten minutes of riding on the bus with my zombie looking friends, I was at my stop.  With a bunch of "excuse mes," and a little bit of pushing, I was free from their clutches.  I still had a ten minute walk to the Land of Misfit Furniture.  As I was walking, I noticed there was a man, very much larger than me, walking about 10 feet behind me.  He stood about 6'4" tall and then there was me, 5'9" small.  He seemed to be following me and I started to worry a little.  I gave him a few awkward glances and a little smile in hopes to find that he was quite normal, and not going to attack me.  Now, that morning was filled with 20 minutes of very awkward moments, both on the bus ride and the walk to work.  I was ready for whatever the day was willing to dish out.

Both me and the huge rogue zombie walked into the store together.  OK, I thought, if I have to fight this man, at least I'm around other people who can call 911 when I die.
"Hey you both made it!" A loud voice said behind me.  I turned around to see my manager greeting me and the large man.  To my surprise, He was my new co-worker.
"Follow me." My manager told us. "For the first few hours we need you to unload this truck of couches."  I stared into the open trailer which was full to the brim with couches. 
Well, at least my new co-worker was a big guy, so this won't be too bad.  To my surprise, Big Guy walked over to the first couch, threw it on to his back, and walked off giving me a look like he expected me to follow suit.  I struggled to get one out about five feet off the trailer, when my manager came back and asked me where Big Guy was.  I told him he was taking the couches by himself.  When Big Guy came  back to the truck for another load, my manager asked to talk to him alone.  Puzzled, I went back to moving this overly sized sectional by myself.
"@$#^! You &%$! I never @^$%!" 
What the heck?!  I looked up and saw Big Guy yelling at my manager.  Bad form for the first day of work.  Then, Big Guy walked off, and with the slam of the door I never saw him again.  I came to find out, he lied on his application and he was an ex-convict.  No wonder he was so strong - he had those prison muscles!

1 comment:

  1. Lol, prison muscles.. It's a great thing that you didn't have to send company trips with Mr, Big( not the handsome sex and the city type either) and overnight stays. Wish I coud have seen you lift those couches... Great post