Battle of the Sexes

Ever since we were children there's been a fascination with segregating girls against boys.  Boys were gross, and girls had cooties - whatever those were.  Each side was willing to rumble, showing off who truly was the best.  We were even taught silly rhymes to make sure we drove our points home. 

"Girls take a shower to get more power; boys take a bath to get more math!"

"Boys go to Mars to get more candy bars; girls go to Jupiter to get more stupider!" 

"Girls rule and boys drool!"

These rhymes were supposedly strong enough evidence to prove our case that one gender was more superior than the other.  Even as the years pass, we seem to still have the same issues.  Maybe it was just ingrained in our heads so much when we were little we can't get over it.  We still have to same issue, but things have changed a little.  Girls, of course, have dropped their cooties, games like "Battle of the Sexes" have been created, and, well let's face it, boys are still gross, but we've gotten over it. 

Now, any devoted reader of House of Brockman knows that I will be able to tie this into something having to do with furniture.  So, I now declare - we shall have "Battle of the Sexes" when it comes to furniture! Sometime within everyone's life, we have found ourselves in a house, apartment, or at least a childhood bedroom belonging to someone of the opposite sex.  Besides the obvious color selection of a room, there are certain pieces of furniture that can make a room feel more masculine or feminine. Here are a few rooms and peices you try to decide what feel more masculine or feminine:

The Wanding Eye

It hit me – Oh crap!  I have a wandering eye!  I didn’t dare tell Emily, but I think she has started to catch on.  I could never tell any of my close friends for the fear of judgment on their part.  So here I am, stuck with my new found relationship.  I, Christopher Brockman, tend to let my eyes rest in places that are not mine.  I find myself imagining to myself how things could be.  I’m beginning to see a change in some of my relationships with other.  As soon as go into a friend’s home, I’m met with a “Hello,” and awkward looks to make sure my eyes start to wander.  

Is it all that bad?  As soon as I enter a room my eyes start to wander, seeing a whole new room and how it could be.  With a simple glance I see the room filled with multiple options for paint, rugs, lighting, chairs, tables, and pillows.  I don’t believe there’s a commandment saying, “Thou shalt not decorate thy neighbor’s house.”  Plus, there’s nothing that would suggest I would break my vow of style.  I’m grateful I’m not the only one who has a bit of a wandering eye.

Since we have now been open for a month in Cary Town, we will be offering a free design consultation, exclusively to the readers of House of Brockman.  Email houseofbrockman@gmail.com  to set up an appointment, and be sure to mention this blog post! We will discuss developing your style along with options for your space.  

Dreams are Not-so Black and White

I have come to find that a good night's sleep has a direct correlation to the birth of some of my more creative ideas.  Within a level of unconsciousness, I drift into dreams - some inspire, and some don’t. Bless Emily for enduring the wild nights of my sleep cycles.  I've been greeted many a mornings, not with a, "Good morning," but, "Do you know what you did last night?"  This is the most recent account:

About 3:00am, Emily woke up to me tapping her on the shoulder.  Frantic and worried something had happened to Elle, she looks over at me.  With her blurry vision, she was met with a very serious face, and with my finger pointed right at her, I said, “Remember, only you can prevent forest fires.”  I then gave her the cheesiest grin I could muster while still sleeping at three o’clock in the morning, rolled over, and continued to sleep.  Emily, angry and not impressed with my Smoky the Bear impersonation, she vowed to recount the tale to me the next morning. 

Even though I didn’t remember anything about Smoky the Bear of forest fires, as much I wish I had, I awoke with the idea of a collection of black and white photography.  I have been a bit of a photographer, dabbling in it here and there, taking a class when time permitted. As a teenager, my sister and her friend would occasionally ask me to take pictures of them. I don’t know about you, but there is nothing more fun than staging an impromptu photo-shoot.

 I have always had a deep love for black and white photography.  Most of the art I have collected has been an assortment of different photographers' black and white photos.  The inspired thought that arose with me that morning was the idea of a photography collection capturing the shadows of Richmond; playing with the light, with the city skyline, and the back alleys. Here are a few from the collection so far:

Glamorous

Old Hollywood, Celebrities, the Upper East Side.  They all seem to have something that ties them together.  Any guesses?  No, it’s not because of the high population of Jews.  It’s the glamour! I have some clients ask me about how to incorporate glamour in to their homes without making it look as trashy as the cast from “Real House Wives of New Jersey.”  Here are a few of my Easy Glam Tips you can add into your home that will give it a bit of tasteful glamour:

Silver 

It’s such a great color that gives a bit of a polished feel.  Silver accessories will do just the trick.  If you don’t have a whole lot of extra cash to throw around, a good coat of Valspar Silver Metallic Spray Paint will give a great makeover to just about anything.  Try spray painting the inside of a glass vase for a clean glossy look.

 



















Mirrors

Lots and lots of mirrors!  Check out our post Mirror, Mirror for more details.

 


Drama Colors 

You can add a lot of glamour by just the color you choose to put in your room.  High contrast such as black and white will always bring some drama.  If you’re up for being adventurous, try adding deep blues, purples and reds into your accents.

Crystal

Is there anything more glamorous than a crystal chandelier? My go-to stop is greatchandeliers.com  You can pick up a crystal chandelier for less than $100!

The Office

After:

7  Months

212 Days

5088 Hours

305280 Minutes

18316800 Seconds

74 Blog Posts

2.5 Liters of Tears

AND

1 Baby

     

House of Brockman officially opened it's office in Cary Town!  We are located on the second floor of Urban Interiors. By appointment only.
Email us at: houseofbrockman@gmail.com

3422 W Cary St.

Richmond, VA 23221

 

Shut the Front Door!

"Shut up!"
"What did you say to me?"
"Shut the front door!"
Do you remember this poor substitution for a curse word?  As children on the playground in California, we would all take turns trying to sneak in a counterfeit bad word.  Of course, we never had the courage to ever utter the profane smut of a real bad word for the fear of  a teacher's lurking ear near by.  We all knew that a call to the office and a few hours of detention would await us with the simple slip of a ucky syllable.  So, we would try and say words such as, "son of a bodybuilder!", "mother chucker!", and "shut the front door!" 

While out and about today, I was driving in a lovely neighborhood 20 minutes north of Richmond, in Ashland, Virginia, I admired some pretty flashy front doors.  Here are a few of the beauties that made me say, "Shut the front door!  Those are some of the prettiest shiznits I've ever seen!  I would be one happy mother chucker to live there!

Pray

There are many things you can find yourself praying for.  Some pray to finally win the Mega Million and pull off the most epic way of quitting their jobs.  Some just might be praying to make it through the family holiday meal without a fight.  Sometimes you pray to get home safely.  I found myself in the middle of our Eat, Pray, Love California trip with my loved ones around me for prayer to be a bit necessary.  During the Easter Season, Emily, Elle, and I were all in line with plenty of our family's Easter Traditions.  First comes love, then comes fighting, then comes talking behind your family's back.  I'm sure that many are accustomed to this family tradition.  This year, I found my small family in a civil war, with casualties on both sides and plenty of friendly fire.  The bonus for me this year were the chocolate eggs.  

Most traditional Family Holidays start with a prayer, and this Easter is was said by my 88 year old grandfather.  Now this is a wise man who speaks four languages, and was a High School Latin teacher for 38 years.  He had plenty of time to perfect the language of prayer.  Over the years his prayers have started  to sound a bit like the daily meetings you can spectate at your local McDonald's between the hours of 6:00am and 10:30am.  This is where every old person, male or female, within a 2 mile radius over the age of 70 take part in their hour long discussions with conversations that drive around in circles.   Before we ate our Easter Feast, my whole family and myself were taken hostage by my wonderful grandfather, for perhaps, his longest prayer to date.  With his faith and concentration, he continued on praying through two crying babies, my mother's coughing attack, and my sister's and my snickering.  The minutes on the clock continued in long and devoted prayer with no end in sight.  Is it wrong to pray for a prayer to end?  I'm sure I was tempted.

Eat

California can be a bit of a touchie subject for me, with some less-than-enjoyable memories of a frail past.  A new found life in the VA has led me to the decision to let go of the hurt, and now I have the opportunity for new discovery.   This is the equation: EAT, next - PRAY, then - LOVE.  First up - EAT. 

In California, there's nothing more appetizing than a short Mexican man handing you a perfect hand crafted burrito, filled with the best mystery meat in town.   As we both speak the language of food, there is no need for English.  Just say, "Uno carne asada burrito senior. Gracias!"  Don't mind the fact I'm eating from a truck that looks like it even a blind health regulator would fail it for uncleanliness. The exterior of the truck is slapped together with the ever so handy duct tape, because I'm sure it's seen it's fair share of the  Mexican border, and true, half the the cats in the neighborhood have disappeared, but when you take the first bite, a passionate love affair comes alive with the flavors of California spilling into ever corner of your mouth.  Now I know what Julia Roberts in the movie "Eat, Pray, Love" meant while she was in a restaurant in Naples declaring to her friend,  "I'm having a relationship with my pizza."

Now, I'm sure it is a bit comical to anyone who isn't a natural born Californian, but as soon as we find ourselves in the mother land,  there is a mad dash to the nearest In-N-Out with the enthusiasm that with one bite it will indeed cure any sickness.  You have Cancer?  Try a Double Double.  Californians have know the cure for the common cold for years!  It lies in the delicious burgers found at  In-N-Out.  With enthusiasm like this, you would think we could bring ourselves out of the recession, but perhaps we just don't have our priorities in order.  At least we eat well!   Sorry to the unfortunate souls who are not blessed with the gift of Taco Truck and In-N-Out.  Pray you may become more fortunate to travel and find these Food Meccas.  California doesn't get a lot right when it comes to the world of the Kardashians, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the alarming rate of plastic-looking women in Hollywood, but we sure know how to eat.

 

Does it make me bad if I possibly became more excited to eat in California than to see my family?   As I have traveled back to California in the past, I found myself becoming angry, and I had no choice but to self-medicate with the alluring flavors of California to keep me happy and content - that is until i got hungry again.  Then, that haze of the anger came upon me, and I would have to repeat the process.  This time was different.  I went in with the hopes of a better relationship between me and my home, and came out not-so-angry, with a very full and satisfied belly.  

I Left my Heart in San Fransisco

"I'm going to squish you like bug!"  Not the most warmest of welcomes I've received in my life.  But what was I expecting from a homeless lady with a twitch in her eye? Well, what can you do? I believe when you're in love you take the good with the bad, because no relationship is perfect.  I remember when I first fell in love with the City by the Bay.  I was about seven years old when my family was in the city for a conference.  I remember staring up at the tops of buildings in awe, looking into store windows, completely unaware of the homeless people who seemed to to reaching for me, my mother frantically swatting them away like flies, and piercing into their strung-out souls with a look of death.  The moment I knew I wanted to live in the city was when we walked in Nordstrom in San Fransisco.  With it's four-story gold circular staircases, I watched the way people walked, and how they lived made we want to be apart of their world.  As I got older, the love for the city was changed into a more mature understanding, and a slight humorous appreciation for the locals. 

While I was giving a guided tour to a few of my suburban friends, with a pep in my step, I saw a haggard, old homeless woman walking toward my group of friends.  Telling them to look down, she continued to walk faster toward us.  With a quick slip of her dirty flip-flop, and a smack to my face, "I'm going to squish you like a bug!" she said.  The residue from her flip-flop left a large dirt print, and a look of shame on my face.  I was completely unaware as to why my city and I had had our first fight.  I was quick to forgive this time, but now more aware than ever the shifty turn a city has to offer.  After a period of time you can become desensitized to these freak acts of aggression.

After a long day of shopping with my sister in the blistering summer heat of San Fransisco (a high of 65 degrees), the only thing that could possibly make the day more perfect was a Passion Tea Lemonade from Starbucks, and of course, a show.  This was a true test of the city life.  As we were sipping our Venti drinks, a skinny, pale man started to walk around in circles.  Strange, but not completely abnormal.  He continued on until apparently got too hot.  So he took off his shirt, then his shoes, socks, pants, you get the idea.  We decided either he was high, or was listing to the song "I'm Too Sexy for my Shirt" and took it to heart.  Either way, we just sat there until our drinks were gone, and so were his clothes.  Unphased by what happened, we were just ready for more shopping.

Oh San Fransisco, how I miss you.  But we will meet again soon, in a week's time.  That's right.  The House of Brockman is jet setting to the sunny state of California, where dreams do come true; well at least before the recession in 2006.  We will only have $20.00 in our pockets, but getting ready to pop some tags in the city.  Can't wait.

House of Brockman the Soap Opera

We all know good new spreds quickly, but what travels even faster, is gossip.  There is nothing better, and more enjoyable than a scandle shared between friends, or enemies.  Believe me, I have plenty of dirt.  From unfaithful husbands, to daughters who just can't say no, to mothers with drinking problems.  All I can say is these are the "Days of Our Lives."  Wouldn't life be more exciting if it were more like a soap oprea?  The opportunity for endless drama and being blindly unaware we are the causes for our own unfortunate issues.  Even better, what if your life were like a spanish soap opera filled with passion, and pinatas?!  As the music soars, we are caught in a passionate moment that ends just as quickly with the discovery that our enemy has just come back from the dead for a third time.  What would "The House of Brockman, The Soap Opera" be like?

This week on House of Brockman:

Phone rings.Emily: Hello? Hello?  Is any one there?

Emily hangs up the phone; phone rings agian.

Emily: Hello?  Who is this?  Is any one there?

Hangs up the phone.  A loud knock sounds at the door, and a baby starts to cry.  Emily, starteled walks to the door.
Emily: Who is it?
Chris: Babe, let me in. I left my key!
Emily : You scared me!
Chris:  Sorry.
Chris gives Emily a quick kiss.
Emily: Did you just call here?  Because some one called twice a few minets ago, but no one said anything.
Chris:  No,  I was on my way home.
Phone rings agian.
Emily: You answer it.
Chris: Hello?
White noise.
Chris: Who is this?  Hello?  Stop calling here! Leave my family alone!
Chris hangs up the phone.  Phone rings agian.
Chris: [yelling into the phone] Stop calling us!
Voice on the phone: I'm coming for her..
Phone hangs up.  Ominous music soars.  Chris and Emily look at the baby.

 

To be continued....

Ok, so maybe that's a little more dramatic than what our life is really like, but what are soap operas for anyway?  They're for a good piece of drama and gossip.  But in our real lives the word on the street, particularly Cary Street, is that House of Brockman will offically have an office to continue in building the House of Brockman name.  Our first Interior Design office!  We are going to be located inside Urban Interiors at 3422 W Cary St. Richmond, VA.  We will be providing our clients with an array of design services for any budget.  We will be working by appointment only.  We are very excited to continue to expand the House of Brockman.

Kelly Green and Tan

March 2nd is a very important day! It is my birthday as well as Dr. Seuss'.  In the spirit of Dr. Seuss, I was reminded of a few of my favorite books, "Oh the Thinks You Can Think," "There's a Wocket in My Pocket," and of course, "Green Eggs and Ham."  "Green Eggs and Ham" is a book about possibly one of the most annoying sales persons ever written, Sam I am.  He gives every option and idea possible, with disregards to any health code regulations, as he harasses  his victim into eating his potentially moldy eggs and ham.  The lessons learned?  Maybe our mothers were right to never talk to strangers;  Nancy Regan's campaign "Just say NO!' may not always be affective; and keep an open mind and you may be surprised!  

Sam I am is at it again!  Who knew he was an interior designer as well as a culinary genius?!  He is trying to convince his friend about the color combination kelly green and tan.  

 

 

I do not like kelly green and tan,

I do not like it Sam I am.
 

Would you like it here or there?

I would not like it here or there;
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like kelly green and tan,
I do not like it Sam I am.
 

How about on a chair?

 There's no way you can compare.

 

 



I do not like it on a chair,
 I do not like it here or there,

I do not like it anywhere!
 I do not like kelly green and tan,
I do not like it Sam I am.
 

What about on the drapes?

I would rather eat rotten grapes!

 

 

I do not like it on the drapes,
 I do not like it on a chair,
 I do not like it here or there,
 I do not like it anywhere!
I do not like kelly green and tan,
I do not like it Sam I am.
 

A throw! A throw!
There's no way you could say no!

 

 

NO! NO! NO! 
I do not like it in a throw,
I do not like it on the drapes,
I do not like it on a chair,
I do not like it here or there,
I do not like it anywhere!
I do not like kelly green and tan,
I do not like it Sam I am!
 

  I know!
How about with the lamps?

 

 

I would rather deal with cramps,
 than ever look at those ugly lamps!
I do not like it with the lamps,
  I do not like it in a throw,
 I do not like it on the drapes,
 I do not like it on a chair,
 I do not like it here or there,
I do not like it anywhere!
I do not like kelly green and tan,
I do not like it Sam I am.
 

You do not like it, so you say.
Try it!  Try it, and you may.
 

Sam, if you will let me be,
I will try it, you will see.

I do not like kelly green and tan,
 I do not like it Sam I am.
 

Say!  I do like kelly green and tan!
I do like it Sam I am!

I do like it with the lamps,
 I do like it on a throw,
 I do like it on the drapes,
 I do like it on a chair,
 I do like it here and there,
 I do like it anywhere!
 

 I do so like kelly green and tan.

Thank you! Thank you, Sam I am.